Friday, October 20, 2006


I Have Arrived ( Now edited for your pleasure)

This just in from the comments!

"anonymous said...

Why don't you write a post on the reasons why Little Miss Sunshine, the perfect wife of the perfect doctor, tears strangers down...low self-esteem or jealousy are my two guesses. Anyone in Texas or blog land want to chime in?

Perhaps more people would read your stuff if it was enlightening or even well-written.

Go back to baking cookies and wiping butts...methinks your true talent lies there. Most writers don't need a "hook"--their words speak for themselves. Your criticizing others speaks volumes of your character.

I'm ashamed for you."

I know. Awesome, right? My first mean comment! Well, my first mean comment that didn't come from a close friend or family member. Because those are some mean motherfuckers, and Anonymous looks like an amateur in comparison.

Nonetheless, I am excited by ths development, because only the big bloggers get mean comments. So don't let the amateurish quailty and poor writing here fool you; I've hit the big time, baby.

I do have a few issues with the comment though, and I thought I'd take a moment to list them here.

First off we have:
"Why don't you write a post on the reasons why Little Miss Sunshine"

Sadly, I am not Little Miss Sunshine. I realize you don't know me all that well, Anonymous, but I am not the least bit sunshiney. I am however, incredibly cute , especially when I smile, what with the dimples and all.

Then we have: "the perfect wife of the perfect doctor"

Ha! That's a good one. I am not a perfect wife, far from it, as a matter of fact. Pookie may feel free to chime in here, although he'll be mighty uncomfortable trying to sleep on one of the love seats if he does. Also, Pookie is not a doctor. I've never even hinted that he might be a doctor and am really not sure where you came up with that. Although he does like to play doctor and is, in fact, quite good at it.

"tears strangers down...low self-esteem or jealousy are my two guesses."

My guess would be both. I hate myself and I hate you. Maybe I need to see a doctor? Oh, Pooookie....

"Go back to baking cookies"

Oh, that's a good one. Not that baking cookies is not a noble pursuit, but I don't do it. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some cookies, but to be frank (and possibly give you actual ammunition against me, instead of the shit you've made up out of whole cloth), I am not a good cook. There, I said it. I feel better now, don't you?

Now, as to the rest of it, where you essentially call me a shitty writer, well, ya got me there. I've never referred to myself as a writer because I'm not. I'm a blogger, nothing less, nothing more.

By the way, in the interest of full disclosure, Anonymous is angry with me for having an opinion of *her* site by way of a site called Trainwrecks.

(Edit: Anonymous found me thanks to a link attached to my name on a comment I made at Trainwrecks. The nice (or not-so-nice, depending on who you are) people at Trainwrecks are not affiliated with Anonymous. Tarte Au Citron is a contributor to Trainwrecks and is most decidedly NOT Anonymous.)

(Also, I love my cousin Jo.)

If you feel up to following the trail, please do, but I'm not linking to her here, because I don't have to. I, at no time, commented at her personal blog. Also, whoever DD is that defended me in her comments? Thanks! Please say Hi, so I can thank you properly.

Ok, I have to run to Wal-mart, eat some fish and fried green tomatoes and then watch Project Runway. Try not to envy me.


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