Monday, September 11, 2006

 

Better days

I found myself looking at the sky today. Frequently.

Five years ago today, I found myself looking at the sky. Frequently.

Then, it was because I was convinced that at any minute a plane was going to fall out of the sky. Never mind that at the time I lived in a medium sized city in Louisiana and all the attacks had been focused on landmarks in large cities.

September 11, 2001 was one of the worst days of my life. I didn't know anyone killed in the attacks. I didn't know anyone who knew anyone killed in the attacks. I was as removed as one could be, and yet I still felt it in my soul.

I have a bit of a reputation for being tough, and someone commented that they were shocked at how upset I was. I was taken aback at that, as what kind of person wouldn't be shocked and horrified and devastated at the violence and the loss of life ?

I was also terrified.

To put it simply, I took it very personally.

So I spent the day scanning the skies, worrying and waiting.


Today, I was watching the skies because it was cloudy. I wasn't scared of another attack. I was hoping for rain. But every time I raised my eyes skyward, I thought about all those people. Every time.

Then, it rained and cleared the mugginess from the air. It smells so sweet and green outside.

It's a better day, today.

*************************************************************************

A new pic of my oldest son. Who I swear to God is getting better looking every day. Also, he's really buff (I put that in for him).


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